Leaving the Big Brother house

Right before I found out I was leaving the house, showing the bracelets I had made

When I walked into the Big Brother house I instantly adapted to the new environment, I accepted the cameras, the restricted environment and the rules.  But leaving was a completely different story and much harder to adjust to.

In the house we were confined to a small space, we varied our time between the garden, living room and bedroom and had just 13 people to spend time with.

The rules meant everything was dictated:

  • We had most of our clothes taken off us a few days in
  • Emergency rations left us with chickpeas, brown rice and lentils
  • The hot water was turned off
  • Alarms sounded to wake us up and if we went to bed too early
  • We were often locked in rooms while tasks were set up

I know I was portrayed as a moaner in the house but I never once complained about the lack of hot water, or having my clothes taken away and although I complained about food I just wanted to be treated the same as everybody else by having soya milk, vegan butter and tofu.  And I most certainly didn’t complain the most in there!

Despite the rules I never once felt bored in the house or complained that there was nothing to do, I loved every minute of the experience! Although we had rules we also had amazing times like being given puppets that had been specially made!

Leaving was a huge shock to the system, an announcement is made and you have just 10 seconds to say goodbye to the people who have supported you and cared for you for weeks.

When the doors open the evictee sees hundreds of people waving banners and taking pictures.  They are then interviewed where they must justify their behaviour, regardless of not knowing what has been shown or the public’s perception.

For some the reaction is terrible and a few could even be hated universally by the public.  Others are liked by some but not by others for trivial reasons.  All housemates nap during the day, but some are shown doing so in the highlights all the time and made to look like that’s all they did.  Whilst some are edited to look like they moan a lot and others look like they talk behind peoples backs all the time.

Contrast between being in and out was the hardest

For me the hardest thing was the contrast between being in the house and out of it.  I remember hearing a Northern accent and thinking it was Nathan and seeing a man at a bus stop and thinking it must be Steve.  I was so used to just seeing these people that it was difficult to be surrounded by new ones.

The freedom was also really difficult to accept.  When I was in the house I ate toast and usually pasta with chopped tomatoes.  With the shopping list budget there was just no way we could afford to buy food so I could have a varied diet.  Then suddenly I’m out of the house and I can eat whatever I like, it was too much at once that it was really hard to cope with.

There is support there, welfare teams and psychologists but the biggest support I had was from the evicted housemates.  I needed to talk to people who were in the same position as me and one of the first things I did was get in touch with Dave’s wife.  When you are so close to people in the house then taken away from them it’s really hard, you get so attached as you are with them all the time.

Despite the restrictions in the house I loved it there, I exercised everyday so I could jump in the cold shower water and got ecstatically happy when big brother would surprise me with bread and crisps.  I loved everyone in there especially Mario, Dave, Corin, Ben and John and I’m still gutted that the whole experience is over.

13 Responses to “Leaving the Big Brother house”

  1. starry Says:

    For some of the audience as well there can also be an attachment, which is when you say you are gutted you left the house they would say the same that you aren’t there.

    That’s because if you follow it closely, such as the live stream, you follow someone’s ups and downs, get used to their mannerisms, their thoughts and feelings are exposed (at least for HMs who are more open like that). Of course it’s completely one-sided as the audience feel they know the HM, but the HM doesn’t know the audience.

    But maybe alot of this is an illusion for both sides. The circumstances are artificial and far more intense than you would find in real life. Things like nominations and evictions, which are just part of the game, seeming of elemental importance. Friendships, relationships seem more intense because of the claustrophobic situation and narrow time period for the HMs, and that influences the audience’s perception of things too. Real understanding of people can surely only happen over a longer time period in a more normal situation.

  2. It must have been a shock for you to find how you had been portrayed – as a moaner and attention-seeker. It didn’t help that many of your most enjoyable moments were never shown, but so many instances of others criticising you behind your back were shown. However, you can be proud of the way you conducted yourself in the house – you always maintained your dignity and your principles. Many of us were able to see what a wonderful person you are in your all-too-short spell in the house, and will be keen to follow your progress outside it. Keep shining on, Sunshine!

  3. I think its bad the way they’ve changed the format of the show as well. There used to be an announcement and then the evicted housemate was allowed half an hour to say goodbye and everything, but now they find out whos safe first if there is more than two people and it probably builds up loads of stress for the other two. What was it like when Bob Righter came to life? It looked really good on TV, but I’m not sure if it might of been scary in real life or not 😀

    Sad you got evicted, hope to see you on TV again 🙂

    George 🙂

  4. Universal Says:

    That’s a cool abstract sunshine.
    time to play with my Airplane Flanger 😀
    shine on

  5. It’s weird, but with all of the many BB housemates over the years, I think you’re the first that’s actually blogged about it, or even had a blog, so it’s strange to get a look at the process without it being filtered through an interview or with the string-pulling hand of a media agent rewording things.

    Now you’re like those criminals who get out of prison and can’t cope on the outside, but instead of looking for crimes to commit, you’ll find yourself secretly eyeing up reality shows 😉

    At least you enjoyed it, and managed to leave without giving yourself a “comprondey?” or Kinga-and-the-bottle style moment that’ll haunt you for years to come.

    Rock on.

  6. I’m still really gutted you’re not there anymore too. I don’t like it when people walk but if only Shabby had walked sooner the eviction would have been cancelled and you would still be there! You really do deserve to still be there. They made a big mistake by voting you out but it was really close with you and Caoimhe.

    Just remember, someone else’ experience will come to and end on Friday too and they will feel the same way. I do miss your Gaga impressions though! x

  7. Mary P Says:

    Hey Sunshine,

    When you first went in I was curious because I live in Peterborough too! But alas, I am an American- not a BRit!
    I think you took your eviction in stride and LOVED your exit poses! You looked really great!
    Best of luck Dr.!

  8. Universal Says:

    i asked 200 people last night weather they liked you, to which they replied or shouted yes. They were a difficult crowd too how they laughed about my three string guitar well that was until i played in e mix Lydian scale then they understood why.

    well that’s it i’m tired

  9. Lyndon F. Says:

    Hello Sunshine,

    Just wanted to say congratulations on getting a 1st in your degree, and that I loved you when you dressed up as Lady Gaga in the garden.

    Loved the green make-up, too, I read somewhere-Twitter I think that you took lots of different colours including orange. Can’t remember.

    Take care, good luck,


  10. philip shepherd Says:

    Dear Sunshine,
    It appears you have been greatly missed since you left the house by several of the housemates, especially by Mario, Corin, JJ, and Ben. It’s such a pity Keeva is still in there especially after her negative attitude towards you and her foul language. I noticed that you never once bitched about anyone or used any inappropriate language. After the first few days you seemed to brighten up the house most of the time. The week after you left the house seemed dull, I’m sure if you’d still been in there you would have got on very well with the new housemates. Also many congratulations on your latest achievement. Do keep in touch by blogs

  11. Hi there Sunshine,

    Just thought I’d leave you a wee message to say that I thought you were brilliant and I really wish you’d stayed in the BB house – isn’t the same without you!

    I watched BB the first couple of years and it just got a bit bizarre so I stopped but seems this year they put in more normal folks..

    Have to say I wasn’t sure about you at first but when you offered to take over the mole task from Mario because you saw him getting upset about it I thought it was a really selfless act and I think it said a lot about who you are.

    I doubt you’ll reply – you are a busy lady after all – but I wish you the best of luck in the future and I thought your lady gaga was class 🙂

    If you’re ever in Dundee 😉


  12. Well you can get used to wearing clothes again! when you left the house I was sad, wondered if the people watching it had been watching it all. Both me and my mum love you, I think you got given hard time in there by the others, the comments about wondering how you got in the real world, when there was someone like shabby there, I just thought that was absurd. Then been called an attention seeker by someone else who obviously wanted to get on TV too, I hate people who call people attention seekers. I think your been really nice about all this…

    It can’t be all bad thought without the show I wouldn’t know about you and I wouldn’t of found your blog.

  13. Hey, you was a great housemate, was sad to see u leave.
    You could of been in the housemates song,that would of been great.
    I thought u where good in Laddy Ga Ga video lol, it was funny.
    I know they will not let you back in but they should.
    Thanks for brightening up Big Brother! Bye

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