Amniotic fluid, the fluid around babies in the womb. Three women actually consented to me delivering their babies this year. And as always I proved to be the master of small talk, me to a new mother, “wow your make-up is still on perfectly.”
Birthday, believe it or not I had a birthday this year, 24-years-old. At my student ball a greasy fresher heard my age and said, “Alrite granddad” damn youth.
In the cabriolet
Cabriolet, yes my dad finally succumbed and bought me a flash car. When I press a button the roof comes off. Unfortunately we live in the UK and it is only useful for around two days a year.
Dragons Den, I shall say no more!
Engagements, it’s probably saying something that several of my friends have become engaged this year. And I don’t blame them, I like diamond rings too! Unfortunately they usually come with a husband. But don’t be disheartened if you are given an engagement ring and the marriage is called off you get to keep the ring (thanks law student housemate Charlotte for that gem of advice.)
Flu, Swine flu became a global pandemic. I was doing paediatrics when the outbreak started, when the first child came in we were all gasping at the “query swine flu” note. I am happy to say I have managed to avoid contracting the influenza strain all year. I am thus due a more virulent strain in the future, damn immunity.
Golf, Tiger Woods has exposed golf in the media like never before! It is gossip gold! He apparently got battered so badly by his wife with a golf club that he needed plastic surgery. And I thought golf was a moderately safe sport.
Hair, this year has been extra special on the hair front as it is the first year that I haven’t had someone else’s hair sewn onto my head (extensions).
IPE, the exam that made the library my home for around 3 months. As usual I lost copious amounts of weight for it. Fortunately I piled the weight back on in the week after by means of drinking vast amounts of champagne.
Journalism, a member of the National Union of Journalists, learning short hand and writing for magazines. I never thought I would do any of that.
Karaoke bar, I started a fight in a karaoke bar in Turkey after a group of Geordies offended my friend. Me and said friend decided it would be a good idea to stand behind the group whenever they sang a song and shout the lyrics over the top of them.
Location/Leicester/London, Moving from my five year home of Leicester to London. It’s been hard, after all there are some things in Leicester that you just can’t get in London, fortunately I was never that fond of curry anyway.
MBChB, nope I haven’t got mine yet but the people I started med school with all did, congrats bitches, damn my two gap years!
Nicknames, this year I acquired the name Dr Sparkle by a handsome consultant Dermatologist. “Dr Sparkle get this young girl a sticker”, me- “I don’t have any” him- “find some.” I would like to put a thank-you out to the good nurses of Leicester (they always carry stickers and now so do I!)
Offspring, my dad is 66 and has a 4-year-old son and a 2-year-old step-daughter so I just wanted to congratulate him for a year without acquiring any more children, good job dad!
Jumping in the pool with all our clothes on
Pool, jumping in the pool with all my clothes on in the middle of the night drunk on holiday. This was actually on my list of things to do, go me!
Queasy, I have accomplished another calendar year of medicine without vomiting or collapsing. Although I did come close in bowel surgery, I was holding on to a piece of intestine and said I felt a little bit hot. This resulted in the consultant forcing me to sit on the floor for the remainder of the operation.
Reunion, I decided to venture to my school reunion this year and the highlights of conversation included, “If someone asked me at Kings, who is going to own a dog and carry it in a bag? I would have answered you.” And “Oh, I didn’t recognise you.” – courtesy of my ex-boyfriend.
Stethoscope, I tied a small elephant to my stethoscope for my paediatric exam. Unfortunately the small child I had to be competently examine to pass the test decided to grab it and not let go for the entire exam.
Tutorials, I have had numerous tutorials this year, I usually spend them partially hung over and not concentrating. In one such lesson given by a Professor London who tends to ask cryptic questions. I was posed the question, “What is the name of the religious cow that was slaughtered this week?” Me without thinking- “Daisy” Prof- “That’s right well done.”
Underground, is there any other type of travel that attracts such a vast amount of weirdo’s? My favourite incident is a dread lock clad stranger walking over to me and asking if I wanted to “swap ipods.” That’s right, swap ipods
Vans, this year white van men have continued to lavish attention on me, usually in the form of honking. But one driver went beyond the others by pulling over and stunning me with his amazing chat-up line. Which was, “are you ok?”…kind of weird.
Weather, ok so England is going to have ice, wind and snow, but I didn’t think the weather would blow the back door into the wall at 3am breaking all the glass in it. I heard a loud smash looked out my room and saw the back door open with glass everywhere. So I woke my housemate and told her I thought someone was in the house at which point she grabbed a knife. Turned out it was just the wind.
The night I hurt my hand, doing the splits drunk, dressed as a sailor
X-ray, as always this year has had a number of A&E visits. My favourite is the one that occurred after I fell on my hand drunk, doing the splits, dressed as a sailor.
Yvette, she’s gone, now it’s all about Sunshine.
Zips, zips have continued to cause problems in my life. I turned up to a bar to meet friends around four hours late after a zip broke which left me stuck in a dress.
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